Men vs. Women***

***Moods of a Woman

An angel in truth, a demon in fiction,A woman is a bundle of contradiction.
She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,But will tackle a stranger alone in the house.
She can be sour as vinegar or sweet as a rose,She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk;
You'll fancy she's this, but you'll find she's that.For she'll play like a kitten and bite like a cat.
In the morning she will, in the evening she won't,And if you're expecting she does, then she don't.
At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.

°°°Moods Of A Man

HornyHungry



***Female Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.

°°°Male Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big boobswho owns a liquor store and a bass boat. This doesn'trhyme and I don't give a crap.
Amen.



***How to Impress a Woman

Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her,Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her,Smile at her, Laugh with her,Cry with her, Cuddle with her,Shop with her, Give her jewelry,Buy her flowers, Hold her hand,Write love letters to her,Go to the end of the earth and back for her.

°°°How to Impress a Man

Show up naked.Bring beer.



Male/Female Differences

God made men and women to complement each other with the unique traits we were each given:

***WOMEN

Women have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy.
They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
Women wait by the phone for a "safe at home call" from a friend after a snowy drive home.
They are child care workers, executives, attorneys, stay-at-home moms, biker babes, and your neighbors.
They wear suits, jeans, and they wear uniforms.
They fight for what they believe in. They stand up for injustice.
They walk and talk the extra mile to get their children in the right schools and get their family the right health care.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving.
They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments, and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile, and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.

°°°MEN

Men are good at lifting heavy stuff.

:)))) LOVE it!